anythinggoes

This is a poem that I wrote shortly after a friend and classmate killed himself. He was depressed and did not think he had many friends.

As I sit I wonder; wonder why. Why must flowers bloom? Children die? Teens suffer? adults worry? Grandparents leave to never return? Why must anyone die? Suffer? We must suffer because we are loved, and there is always pain in loving someone. When you get too close it can hurt. When you get too close you always lose the one you love the most. Why must anything happen? It must happen because we are loving and are loved. Remember you are always loved!

This poem I wrote just after my Grandma passed away. Just recently came back across it after my Grandpa passed away.

Sitting and dreaming. Dreaming of the times we spent, of the love we shared. Yet dreams are only dreams. Dreams come and go, you will always be in mine. In my life you are a distant observer. I know that you can never return from your dreams. But just once think of me down here, while you are up there. We will always be together. But, only in dreams.

This poem is about a painting by Paul Cornoyer.

The newly wet sidewalk gently reflects the hidden sun. The gloomy trees are full of lifelessness and stillness. A black dress carelessly walks down the sodden pathway with her children in hand. The distant trolley quietly rings it’s bell, and horses hooves gently rap on the cobblestone street, as a man saunters down the cobblestone trying to miss the puddles. The buildings help hide the light from the sun to make the street below seem like a well lit alleyway.  In the distance the buildings are masked by the newly fallen fog. Yet the streets still reflect the light and everything around them.

This is a short story I wrote. Parts of it are true, parts are not.

It was a grey evening in April, and the rain was beating down on the ground. Just leaving a meeting my sister and I race to the car, and drive away. The way home was cool and calm. It was the first time in years my sister and I had to ourselves. We talked up a storm. She pulled into the grocery store parking lot. She got out and said, ” I will be right back.” Ten minutes later here she comes running to the car. She gets into the car and is laughing hysterically. About what I don’t know, but I soon join in with her. The laughter soon ended. The music overcomes the noise of the rain. We pulled away onto the road. A redlight, good. One of the few times anyone has said that a redlight was a good thing. Singing aloud my sister and I pay no attention to the lights or anything going on around us. Someone behind us honks, there is a green arrow for us to go. My sister slowly creeps forward to make the left turn. From nowhere a car zips around the corner and hits us. Before it hit us I see it coming towards us and yell to my sister, “Car!” Than a loud crash and we are broadsided. Shards of metal, sparks, and broken glass go flying everywhere. I feel my legs go numb, before we hit a light pole. At our speed it didn’t break right away. The car got closer and closer to me, the door dug into my skin more and more. The searing pain and blood are unbearable, it feels as if my legs are on fire. The last thing I hear is the breaking of the light pole and the snap, crack, and pop of the wires. I strain to open my eyes and look over to my sister. Besides some minor cuts and bruises she looks fine. I give her a quick smile, then close my eyes. That evening my life changed forever. I am ignored by friends and family, no one listens to me, no one sees me. They all talk about me and think about me. “He could have been a good person”, and he could have been this and could have done that..if only he was here today. I am here, but you will never see me or hear me, I will always be in the back of your mind to help you on your way. Never forget me, always remember.

Imagination is a powerful thing, with it you can change the world.

I sit and stare out a window to the world. Nothing that I think is real. Nothing that I know is true. The only thing that separates me and the real world is this window and my imagination. The difference between the real and my world is the pain, the suffering, the disease, and the poor. In my world none of these exist. Everyone is happy. There is no death. Only life.

 A poem of innocence and loneliness.

Everyone says what they do is right, who really knows. Cycles of truth, webs of deception, life becomes a facade. Keep it all internal, hide all the world from me. They need me more than I need them. Go unnoticed. Perform life. Conceal all in silence, and be far into a place frozen in time. Captured in a dream. When I was fifteen years old I knew everything there was to know, and now I’m old, it was true. There is confidence in innocent eyes. Hold knowledge for surpassing their years. Expectations put high upon a pedestal of short comings.

This poem I wrote a couple of years ago, when I met the woman of my dreams for the first time. I have now married her and love her more than anything else, and she knows it.

Standing in a lone desolate spot. I catch a glimpse of you from across the room. A smile comes to your face. I turn away; my hands become sweaty and tense. My heart beats quicker and quicker. When you are close I grow nervous. Nervous about doing something wrong, saying somethings stupid. I wish I could tell you how I feel. Yet, there is fear and worry. Fear of rejection, or being laughed at. But my heart yearns; yearns to reach out and touch your silky hair and your crimson lips and hold you close in my arms. Even if only for a moment. That moment would last a lifetime. But somehow my fears and worry will be overcome. Overcome with love for you.

A poem about fog.. not much else to say about this one.

The sleepy dazed world of the fog casts a spell on all of us. Some may feebly fumble for the footstool to get down, others may unfurl forest-green sheets and still perhaps others feel the creak of the fog in their joints and go back to sleep.  The fog makes us feel dreary, drowsy, feebly fumbly, and casts many other spells.

This poem is about heartbreak, and what it puts a person through. When the person you love the most hurts you is when it hurts the most.

Willingly I gave you my heart. I thought that everything was alright. Something happened and my life was shattered. Your ripped out my heart and crushed it. All my hopes and dreams thrown away. A wink of sleep, none I have gotten. I can’t take my mind off of you. I walk around in a daze, thinking of only you, and what we could have been like and what we could have done. I gave you my heart, but you ripped it out and crushed it, Willingly.

A poem I wrote in high school about a girl who I thought was the love of my life at the time. An infatuation that turned into heart break, and changed me forever.

I daydream of things that could be, should be, and can’t be. Millions of thoughts run through my mind in a second. All my thoughts come and go, but the only that stays the same is the thought of you. You are in my mind all day. No matter what I can’t help but think of you. You are the only thing I see. Your voice is the only thing I hear. Your hand is the only thing I touch. Your hair the only thing I smell. But all I taste is the pain of not having you. My mind torments me all day. I daydream of things that could be, should be, and can’t be.